1. You hand write a note to your child’s teacher and the salutation is “Dear @msjones”
2. You are fluent in “Twanguage” – Twitter Language: Twamily, Tweople, and the like.
3. You think in 140 characters or less.
4. You dream that your are having an in person conversation with @chrisbrogan, a person you’ve never met, but instead of hearing his voice he speaks on text balloons of 140 words or less.
5. Your husband finds out you are pregnant at the same time as your 20,000 Twitter followers.

photo credit: mallix on flickr

I don’t know if it’s the dawning of a New Year or gracefully making it through 2008 – a year where I was grossly challenged in every area of my life. I don’t know if it’s the sense of completeness I feel when I look into the eyes of my boys and truly believe it when I tell them “you can be anything you want as long as you work hard.” I don’t know why but I am optimistic.

I live in an America where the challenges of the past are culminating into an era of forgiveness, togetherness, and massive patriotism – the inauguration of the first African American President, Barak Obama, is just hours away. It’s sweet, almost aromatic.

Although we have much work ahead of us, my boys are growing up in an America where there will be fewer African American firsts (their dad was the first African American to get a degree from Springfield College’s graduate strength and conditioning school) and, prayerfully, an environment where their personal accomplishments will stretch far beyond the color of their skin into the entire community we call America.

Personally, I have never been this optimistic. The fear of failing has always hidden in the shadows of every goal I’ve set and in between the lines of each sentence I’ve written. But, today I dream and write under a limitless sky. I am grateful to God for keeping his promises in my life.

I enter week two of my “lifestyle change” with an optimistic determination to reach a healthy weight. I will not fail. I can only carry out the Great Commission of Jesus Christ and the call to service from our next President if I am healthy. I know that my cravings and reliance on food for comfort may grow as I continue on this journey. Nonetheless, I will “keep under my body, and bring it into subjection” (I Corinthians 9:27, KJV) so that I can withdraw from poor eating habits and a sedentary lifestyle to good, wholesome nutrition and a physically active lifestyle. I will serve others with energy and expectancy for great results.

Today, I am optimistic.

Did you really think I would let the first day of the New Year pass without a post? Well, I have in the past but not this year. This is my year to write, to work.

I am thankful. Are you?

For many, the holiday season can be a time of turmoil, a constant reminder of the lack of family, friends, and finances. It can also be a time of brokenness as we ponder over failed love and the desire for that perfect mate. Many people feel lonely.

According to Miriam Webster, loneliness is when one is sad from being alone. Sadness is an emotion, a feeling. There are people whose lives are filled with family and close friends yet they still feel lonely around the holidays. These feelings can creep into any persons mind.

This holiday season, I encourage you to embrace your current situation by doing the following:

ONE: Pray
Luke 5:16 says, “But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed.”

If you are in a lonely place, do what Jesus did. Do more than contemplate your past relationships and hurts; take the time to evaluate the impact you had in those relationships. How can you become a better friend, parent or spouse? Do you have goals that you’ve pushed off due to procrastination or fear?

Although Jesus made the choice to seek out a lonely place and you didn’t, take advantage of it.
Get ahead of everyone caught up in the hustle and bustle of the season, start praying for guidance on how you can be your absolute best next year.

TWO: Be a Blessing

The single most important thing you can do for others is to send up fervent prayers of blessings. Refer to task one.

The next thing you can do is to be kind. This year, make it a point not to get lost in your own business. Be aware of what’s going on around you and in your community. When you meet someone on the street, say “hello.” Find the time to help that elderly neighbor take the trash out on one of these cold winter mornings. If you have a few extra bucks, help a less fortunate family celebrate Christmas with toys for their kids and a nice spread for dinner.

Whatever you can do for someone, do it; it may stop the loneliness bug in you and prevent it in others.

As the wife of a collegiate level strength and conditioning coach I am constantly informed of the importance of living an active lifestyle. However, I did not realize how being sedentary could adversely effect my life until I read The Toll of Sedentary Living in chapter 5 of "An Invitation to Health" (Hales, 2009).

“Sedentary living claims some 250,000 lives, accounting for 10 percent of all deaths in America every year, and contributes to four of the six leading causes of death: heart disease, cancer, stroke, and diabetes.” (p. 110)

Three of these risk factors cause poor health in my family or my husband’s family. While my husband’s biological risks do not directly impact my personal health, we are the parents of two boys, ages 17 months and 4 years. Hence, I am spiritually and intellectually motivated to change my fitness habits in order to promote a lifestyle of wellness to my children.

One of the dimensions of health is spiritual health. For me, good parenting goes beyond moral issues it’s a matter of faith. Proverbs 22:6 says, “Train up a child in the way he should go, even when he is old he shall not depart from it.” (NASB) From my understanding of this scripture “train” means “to teach”. In most of my classes my teachers lead by example: most health and physical education teachers are physically fit; most English teachers use proper grammar; and most home economics teacher can sew. If I desire to raise good children as my faith instructs me, the insurance that they lead healthy, active lives comes from me leading one. My goal is to eliminate some of the predisposing factors of unhealthy behavior in knowledge, attitudes, beliefs, values, and perceptions (p. 15).

The intellectual side of my wants to be certain that as I live my life I take into consideration the information provided to me. As an African American my race alone predisposes me to certain risks. However, applying what I have learned will most likely increase my life expectancy.

Being physically fit should be more than a goal of aesthetic appeal, although it can be a mitigating factor. Fitness for a healthy lifestyle should be forefront in ones motivation for change as a continuous commitment unlike reaching a milestone of 20 pounds. In project management, once a milestone is reached resources are rallied around the next task at hand. However, in athletic performance – a lifestyle in itself – once a race is won training for the next begins.

Participating in a planned, deliberate exercise regimen promotes cardio respiratory fitness, muscular strength, muscular endurance, flexibility, healthy body composition, and functional fitness (p. 108). Exercise improves your mood, reduces psychological symptoms, and sharpens your thinking (p. 111). As a college student and a mother, I need all the extra brain capacity I can get.

Making the change from a sedentary lifestyle to an active one benefits me physically, spiritually, intellectually, and socially.

This morning I started reading "The Prayer of Jabez" by Bruce Wilkinson.  Its not my first time reading it.  I just need a refresher on how to increase something besides my ever-growing waste line.

My baby boy is 17 months old so the "baby fat" excuse no longer works.  I’m 5′6" and I weigh – I am so embarrassed to admit this – 176 pounds.  Fortunately, I’ve lost a whole pound since last week.  My other measurements are too embarrassing to post.  But, I will – later.

What I found this morning during my devotion time is my lack of accountability in the weight-loss arena.  For writing, I am in forums, writers groups, and social networks.  For my spiritual development, I attend church, participate in forums, and read my bible.  However, many of the people I deal with accept their current weight so they don’t struggle with shedding a few pounds like I am.

I’ve decided to start a weight loss group called Momma So Fine.  Before I was married, I was a diva.  Now, with 2 kids under 5 in tow it seems I have lost all of my diva-ish qualities.  I’ve traded 3 inch heels for flip-flops; designer purses for backpacks and diaper bags; and, it seems, my body for motherhood.  I’ve got to get it back.

This brings me back to my title.  In the book, Bruce talks about appointments that help you help others.  I truly believe this could be our appointment to help each other.  Let’s be accountability partners.  I’ll make the first step.

My Current Measurements

My Current Goal

I figure if I can lose a pound a week, it will only take me about 41 weeks to lose 41 pounds.  Who knows, I may lose it quicker.  But my short term goal is to lose 10 pounds by October 8, 2008.  I know its only 8 weeks but with your help, I know I can lose 10 pounds.  So, how about it?

An Invitation for You

Earlier, I wrote that I had started a group called Momma So Fine. Its true and I would love for you to join me in my quest to get healthier.  If you join the group, you will receive weekly journal topics and customized journal pages.  You will also receive a weekly food log that you can print, fold, and place in your wallet to keep track of what you are consuming.  But most of all, you will get someone – maybe even a group of other women, who can encourage you to stay the course in reaching your desired goal.

You can start by using the box below to join Momma So Fine.  After you join, you will be able to download the 1st weeks Journal Pages.  So, hopefully, soon I’ll see you in a smaller pair of jeans.

If you look into the sidebar, you will see a place to join Momma So Fine.

Long ago are the days when "service with a smile" and exceeding customer expectations" were more than just tag lines.  The ideals of customer satisfaction and "the client is always right" have taken a backseat to the quick sell, got your money, don’t care if you received or even liked your product business practices, both on-line and in brick and mortar establishments.

You’ve been at ABC Restaurant when the service associate failed to greet or even acknowledge your presence because she was too busy talking to her baby daddy cousin through an annoyingly, cockroach looking Bluetooth headset while texting her BFF about how annoyed she is with all the customers coming in for food.  When she finally greets you its with a blank stare or a flat harsh, "what you want" instead of "how may I help you".

What’s even worse is that when you ask for a manager because they’ve brought your order to you 4 times and its still wrong, he gets an attitude because he was on the phone with his momma.  Fed up, you take the screwed up order and the number to the customer complaint line, which is thrown into the bottom of your purse with the ones from the bank, supermarket, shoes store, and two grocery stores, because your lunch break is almost over.

Stop giving away your money!  Factored into every price for every product you will ever purchase is overhead.  Service is a part of the price so why not demand better service?  Below are 5 things you can do to get better service.

5 Steps to Receiving Better Service

1. Be Nice and Follow the Golden Rule: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.  Your aura proceeds you and your voice tone can provoke defensiveness in others.  Pay attention to your facial expressions, make eye contact, and be pleasant when conducting business.
2. Shop, Pay Bills and Conduct Banking Transactions During Non-Peak Hours.  When I told my girlfriend this she laughed and said, "They get paid to work all day, so they should be nice all day."  That’s true but everyone does not follow step number one which may cause your service representative to still be in defense mode when you reach her counter.  This also prevents you from developing a bad attitude because your wait is not as long as it would be during peak hours.
3. Make Friends with Associates at Businesses You Frequent.  Following step one will make this step much easier.  If you are nice, Service Sam won’t have the there goes mean Shopper Sue attitude when he sees you.  Since you have already established a good rapport with him, more than likely he will go above and beyond with you so that he won’t have to deal with Shopper Sue.
4. When Something is Wrong Speak Up.  If you’ve followed steps one and three, this will be a breeze because you’ve already established your self as an ideal customer.  Instead of asking for a manager immediately, try to resolve the problem with the person serving you.  In many cases, this person will acknowledge the error and proceed to rectify it.  If not, then ask for the manager or supervisor.  Usually, this will get your issue resolved.  If so, then stop here.  If not, take the customer complaint line number and use it.
5. Stop Patronizing Establishments That Don’t Appreciate Your Business. There is an old saying, "Fool me once, shame on you.  Fool me twice, shame on me."  That is the way we should look at service.  If you patronize an establishment and consistently you get poor products or service, find somewhere else to go.  If more of us had this attitude businesses would have to ship up or shut down.

I know these steps places most of the responsibility on the customer.  However, great service starts with what you project.  If you project a good attitude, 9 times out of 10 those around you will follow suit.

Adopted by GOD

Mind Over Matter:  Who’s Your Daddy?

You’ve been connected to a lie detector.  You’ve been instructed to recite the first 5 words that come to mind when you think of your relationship with your father.  If you lie, you will be doomed to pay $7 per gallon for gas for the rest of your life – you commute 40 miles to and from work.  Will you tell the truth?

FOR THOUGHT

1. Have you ever felt embarrassed by your family, situation, or other things you have no control over? If so, what are those things?
2. Do you ever imagine what your life would be like if the things that embarrass you were not present in your life? How do you think your life would be?
3. Do you ever consider GOD’s plan for your life and his role as your “father”? How so?

Scripture — Ephesians 1:4-5 (NIV)

4 For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love 5 he predestined us to be adopted as his sons [and daughters] through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will—

Adopted by GOD – Write About It!

o  Adoption changes your status from one family identity and inheritance to another.  What are some traits you’ve inherited from your family that you must adjust so that your daily life will reflect your inheritance in Christ?  (i.e., quick temper, anger, overeating, cheating)

o  How did a parent or close family member hurt you?  How did you feel when you were hurt?  What can you do to prevent that same hurt in your children or in other relationships?

o  An adopted child has all the rights and privileges of a naturally born child.  What is God trying to give you that you reject because you feel unworthy?  How can you begin to receive from him?

o  What can (or will) you do today that will please GOD?

o  What is GOD’s will for your life?  Are you submitting to it?  If not, what can you do to submit to his authority so that his will manifest itself in your life?

ACTION

Please complete your name, the date, etc., on your certificate of adoption and allow someone to witness your adoption. Decorate your certificate to reflect the unique you!

You are an heir to the thrown!

 For a PDF copy of this entry, journal pages, and the Certificate of Adoption, please click here.

Caller 31 on today’s show will receive this:

Do not deprive each other, except perhaps by mutual consent for a time, to be free for prayer, but then return to one another, so that Satan may not tempt you through your lack of self-control.
I Corinthians 7:5

It’s Friday night.  Amazingly, you’ve had dinner, put away the dishes, gotten the kids to bed, and had the chance to take a long bubble-bath, lotion your entire body and give yourself a pedicure all before 9 o’clock.  What’s even better is that the kids are asleep in their own beds on the opposite side of the house.

Finally, you think as you reach into the back of the closet where you keep your long, satin nightgowns.  You slip the black one on and it glides over your soft, fragrant skin. You stand there for just a moment to enjoy the quietness and the way the satiny fabric feels against your freshly shaven legs. You walk into your master bedroom room with the intention of starting Joel Osteen’s “Become A Better You” but your husband has another idea. 

He is sprawled across the bed, butt-booty naked ready for some action.  He didn’t even take the time to dry off, so those clean, five-hundred-count, Egyptian-cotton sheets you couldn’t wait to snuggle into are wet.  Your mood is broken. 

You are pissed; about the sheets, because he did not help with dinner or the boys.  Well, he helped with the boys but not the way you wanted him to.  You are kind of horny and you love making love to him but he has to be punished.  Suddenly, you come down with a headache, curl into the fetal position, and fall fast asleep thinking:

 “No VaJayJay for you! Come back in 1 week and maybe, just maybe I’ll be horny enough to give you some.”

Ladies, this is wrong.  If you are healthy and married, please give the man some.  There are women waiting to give him some if you slip up.  I know that he is married but you are too.  Part of marriage is sex.  If you didn’t want to have sex then you probably shouldn’t have gotten married. Communicate and deal with your issues.  Sometimes the act of sex can open up both parties and make it easier for other needs, wants, and desires to be fulfilled. 

Before Michael Richards (Kramer) made the grave mistake of using the “N” word on stage at a famous, L.A. comedy club in November of 2006 I was a huge Seinfeld fan.  Since the incident, I have not watched one episode.  But, the way we withhold sex from our husbands make me think of the Soup Nazi. 

So, the next time you think about withholding sex from your husband.  Please imagine yourself standing on your side of the bed all dolled up, smelling and looking like you just stepped out of Victoria’s Secret with your husband standing before you, hungry, waiting to be served or to serve you. 

What will you do when he goes around town looking, begging for soup like Elaine did in that infamous episode?

NFL Legend, O. J. Simpson, is in court yet again.  This time he is not fighting against murder charges but against a laundry list of charges including armed robbery, kidnapping with a weapon and conspiracy.  

However, this post has absolutely nothing to do with that.  Have we really considered that O. J. may not have gotten away with murders he committed himself? 

I think about the glove, the evidence, etc. – a man in a rage would have been messy.  I even think of the recent episode of Oprah where the ghost writer of “If I did it”, Pablo Fenjves, claims that O. J. said something about how “the dog wagged his tail” when it saw Goldman.  If in fact O. J. became upset about the do and become enraged, he would have been loud, cussing, and hissing.  The neighbors only heard a dog barking.That is so weird to me.  

Is it possible that O. J. was snooping around one day and saw Goldman and Nicole together and realized that the dog knew Goldman?  Maybe then he became upset and hired someone to get rid of Nicole.  Unfortunately, Ron may have gotten caught in the crossfire. 

What do you think?