MUSE: Are You a VaJayJay Nazi?

Do not deprive each other, except perhaps by mutual consent for a time, to be free for prayer, but then return to one another, so that Satan may not tempt you through your lack of self-control.
I Corinthians 7:5

It’s Friday night.  Amazingly, you’ve had dinner, put away the dishes, gotten the kids to bed, and had the chance to take a long bubble-bath, lotion your entire body and give yourself a pedicure all before 9 o’clock.  What’s even better is that the kids are asleep in their own beds on the opposite side of the house.

Finally, you think as you reach into the back of the closet where you keep your long, satin nightgowns.  You slip the black one on and it glides over your soft, fragrant skin. You stand there for just a moment to enjoy the quietness and the way the satiny fabric feels against your freshly shaven legs. You walk into your master bedroom room with the intention of starting Joel Osteen’s “Become A Better You” but your husband has another idea. 

He is sprawled across the bed, butt-booty naked ready for some action.  He didn’t even take the time to dry off, so those clean, five-hundred-count, Egyptian-cotton sheets you couldn’t wait to snuggle into are wet.  Your mood is broken. 

You are pissed; about the sheets, because he did not help with dinner or the boys.  Well, he helped with the boys but not the way you wanted him to.  You are kind of horny and you love making love to him but he has to be punished.  Suddenly, you come down with a headache, curl into the fetal position, and fall fast asleep thinking:

 “No VaJayJay for you! Come back in 1 week and maybe, just maybe I’ll be horny enough to give you some.”

Ladies, this is wrong.  If you are healthy and married, please give the man some.  There are women waiting to give him some if you slip up.  I know that he is married but you are too.  Part of marriage is sex.  If you didn’t want to have sex then you probably shouldn’t have gotten married. Communicate and deal with your issues.  Sometimes the act of sex can open up both parties and make it easier for other needs, wants, and desires to be fulfilled. 

Before Michael Richards (Kramer) made the grave mistake of using the “N” word on stage at a famous, L.A. comedy club in November of 2006 I was a huge Seinfeld fan.  Since the incident, I have not watched one episode.  But, the way we withhold sex from our husbands make me think of the Soup Nazi. 

So, the next time you think about withholding sex from your husband.  Please imagine yourself standing on your side of the bed all dolled up, smelling and looking like you just stepped out of Victoria’s Secret with your husband standing before you, hungry, waiting to be served or to serve you. 

What will you do when he goes around town looking, begging for soup like Elaine did in that infamous episode?


2 Responses

  1. I understand where you’re coming from but I disagree with the idea that just because you’re married, you should have sex when the other person wants it.

    My libido is stimulated and turned off by what happens during the day, not just during the night. If it’s fun, flirtacious, and all-around a good day, then I might seek sex or allow it if it’s sought, but… If I’ve been irritated, unamused, pissed off and the like, chances are it’s not gonna happen.

    We probably have things to discuss and sex is just going to provide a conduit around them and that’s not healthy either. So, instead of just giving it up, I say talk about the reasons why you’re not into it instead of just pretending you have a headache, and maybe, just maybe you might still be up for a round or two that night.

  2. I am not suggesting that you should have sex just because your mate wants to have sex. Sex should hold some kind of mutual desire.

    I often hear women talk about not wanting sex and have not had sex with their husbands for months on end. Its beyond just being “pissed off” then. At that point, the marraige and relationship may be in jeopardy.

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