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MUSE: Are You a VaJayJay Nazi?

Do not deprive each other, except perhaps by mutual consent for a time, to be free for prayer, but then return to one another, so that Satan may not tempt you through your lack of self-control.
I Corinthians 7:5

It’s Friday night.  Amazingly, you’ve had dinner, put away the dishes, gotten the kids to bed, and had the chance to take a long bubble-bath, lotion your entire body and give yourself a pedicure all before 9 o’clock.  What’s even better is that the kids are asleep in their own beds on the opposite side of the house.

Finally, you think as you reach into the back of the closet where you keep your long, satin nightgowns.  You slip the black one on and it glides over your soft, fragrant skin. You stand there for just a moment to enjoy the quietness and the way the satiny fabric feels against your freshly shaven legs. You walk into your master bedroom room with the intention of starting Joel Osteen’s “Become A Better You” but your husband has another idea. 

He is sprawled across the bed, butt-booty naked ready for some action.  He didn’t even take the time to dry off, so those clean, five-hundred-count, Egyptian-cotton sheets you couldn’t wait to snuggle into are wet.  Your mood is broken. 

You are pissed; about the sheets, because he did not help with dinner or the boys.  Well, he helped with the boys but not the way you wanted him to.  You are kind of horny and you love making love to him but he has to be punished.  Suddenly, you come down with a headache, curl into the fetal position, and fall fast asleep thinking:

 “No VaJayJay for you! Come back in 1 week and maybe, just maybe I’ll be horny enough to give you some.”

Ladies, this is wrong.  If you are healthy and married, please give the man some.  There are women waiting to give him some if you slip up.  I know that he is married but you are too.  Part of marriage is sex.  If you didn’t want to have sex then you probably shouldn’t have gotten married. Communicate and deal with your issues.  Sometimes the act of sex can open up both parties and make it easier for other needs, wants, and desires to be fulfilled. 

Before Michael Richards (Kramer) made the grave mistake of using the “N” word on stage at a famous, L.A. comedy club in November of 2006 I was a huge Seinfeld fan.  Since the incident, I have not watched one episode.  But, the way we withhold sex from our husbands make me think of the Soup Nazi. 

So, the next time you think about withholding sex from your husband.  Please imagine yourself standing on your side of the bed all dolled up, smelling and looking like you just stepped out of Victoria’s Secret with your husband standing before you, hungry, waiting to be served or to serve you. 

What will you do when he goes around town looking, begging for soup like Elaine did in that infamous episode?

Botulism Food Recall

Information taken from USDA Website

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Castleberry’s Food Company, an Augusta, Ga., establishment owned by Bumble Bee Foods, LLC, is voluntarily expanding its July 19 recall of canned meat products that may contain Clostridium botulinum, the U.S. Department of Agriculture’s Food Safety and Inspection Service announced today.

The recall is being expanded after information gathered by the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) and FSIS indicated that processing malfunctions at the establishment have existed longer than initially estimated. For that reason, Castleberry’s has agreed to recall all of the following products that may still be in commerce, regardless of the “best buy” date stamped on the bottom of the can. Consumers who have any of the products listed are urged not to eat them, but rather return or dispose of them.

The following products are subject to recall:

  • 12-pack of 15-ounce cans of “Austex Beef Stew.”
  • 15- and 19-ounce cans of “Austex Chili with Beans.”
  • 12-pack of 15-ounce cans of “Austex Chili No Beans.”
  • 12-pack of 19-ounce cans of “Austex Chili No Beans.”
  • 15-ounce cans of “Best Yet Chili with Beans.”
  • 15-ounce cans of “Best Yet Corned Beef Hash.”
  • 15-ounce cans of “Big Y Chili with Beans.”
  • 15-ounce cans of “Big Y Chili no Beans.”
  • 15-ounce cans of “Big Y Corned Beef Hash.”
  • 15-ounce cans of “Black Rock Chili with Beans.”
  • 24-pack of 10-ounce cans of “Bryan Hot Dog Chili Sauce.”
  • 24-pack of 15-ounce cans of “Bryan Corned Beef Hash.”
  • 24-pack of 10-ounce cans of “Bryan Chili No Beans.”
  • 24-pack of 15-ounce cans of “Bryan Chili No Beans.”
  • 24-pack of 15-ounce cans of “Bryan Chili with Beans.”
  • 10-ounce cans of “Bunker Hill Chili no Beans.”
  • 10-ounce cans of “Bunker Hill Chunky Chili no Beans.”
  • 10-ounce cans of “Castle Chili No Beans.”
  • 15-ounce cans of “Castleberry’s Beef Stew.”
  • 15-ounce cans of “Castleberry’s Brunswick Stew.”
  • 10-ounce cans of “Castleberry’s BUNKER HILL, ORIGINAL Chili NO BEANS.”
  • 15-ounce cans of “Castleberry’s CHILI WITH BEANS.”
  • 12-pack of 15-ounce cans of “Castleberry’s Chili No Beans.”
  • 15-ounce cans of “Castleberry’s Corned Beef Hash.”
  • 10-ounce cans of “Castleberry’s HICKORY SMOKED, OVEN ROASTED, WITH SKINS, BARBECUE PORK IN BARBECUE SAUCE.”
  • 12-pack of 15-ounce cans of “Castleberry’s Hot Chili with Beans.”
  • 10- and 14.5-ounce cans of “Castleberry’s BBQ Pork.”
  • 10-ounce cans of “Castleberry’s Sausage Gravy.”
  • 10-ounce cans of “Castleberry’s Chip Beef Gravy.”
  • 15-ounce cans of “Cattle Drive Beef Stew.”
  • 15-ounce cans of “Cattle Drive Chili with Beans.”
  • 15-ounce cans of “Cattle Drive Chili no Beans.”
  • 15-ounce cans of “Cattle Drive CHILI WITH BEANS.”
  • 8-pack of 15-ounce cans of “Cattle Drive Chili with Beans.”
  • 15-ounce cans of “Cattle Drive Chicken Chili with Beans.”
  • 15-ounce cans of “Firefighter Chicken Chili.”
  • 15-ounce cans of “Firefighter Chicken Chili with Beans.”
  • 15-ounce cans of “Firefighter Chili with Beans.”
  • 15-ounce cans of “Firefighter Chili no Beans.”
  • 15-ounce cans of “Food Club Chili with Beans.”
  • 15-ounce cans of “Food Club Corned Beef Hash.”
  • 15-ounce cans of “Georgia Hash.”
  • 10- and 15-ounce cans of “Goldstar Chili.”
  • 15-ounce cans of “Goldstar Tex Mex Chili.”
  • 15-ounce cans of “Great Value Chili with Beans.”
  • 15-ounce cans of “Great Value Hot Chili with Beans.”
  • 15-ounce cans of “Kroger Beef Stew.”
  • 15-ounce cans of “Kroger Chili with Beans.”
  • 15-ounce cans of “Kroger Chili no Bean.”
  • 15-ounce cans of “Lowes Chili no Bean.”
  • 15-ounce cans of “Lowes Chili with Beans.”
  • 15-ounce cans of “Lowes Corn Beef Hash.”
  • 15-ounce cans of “Meijer Chili with Beans.”
  • 15-ounce cans of “Meijer Chili no Beans.”
  • 15-ounce cans of “Meijer CORNED BEEF HASH.”
  • 12-pack of 15-ounce cans of “Morton House Chili with Beans.”
  • 15-ounce cans of “Morton House Corned Beef Hash.”
  • 10- and 15-ounce cans of “Paramount Hot Dog Chili Sauce.”
  • 15-ounce cans of “Paramount Chili no Bean.”
  • 15-ounce cans of “Paramount Chili with Beans.”
  • 15-ounce cans of “Piggly Wiggly Chili with Beans.”
  • 10- and 15-ounce cans of “Piggly Wiggly Chili no Bean.”
  • 15-ounce cans of “Piggly Wiggly Corned Beef Hash.”
  • 12-pack of 15-ounce cans of “Prudence Corned Beef Hash.”
  • 15-ounce cans of “Southern Home Chili with Beans.”
  • 10- and 15-ounce cans of “Southern Home Chili no Bean.”
  • 15-ounce cans of “Southern Home Corned Beef Hash.”
  • 10-ounce cans of “Steak N Shake Chili.”
  • 15-ounce cans of “Thrifty Maid Chili with Beans.”
  • 15-ounce cans of “Thrifty Maid Corned Beef Hash.”
  • 15-ounce cans of “Triple Bar Chili with Beans.”
  • 12-pack of 15-ounce cans of “Triple Bar Chili with Beans.”
  • 15-ounce cans of “Triple Bar Chili no Beans.”
  • 12-pack of 15-ounce cans of “Triple Bar Chili no Beans.”
  • 15-ounce cans of “Value Time Chili with Beans.”

Each can label or can end bears the establishment number “EST. 195” inside the USDA seal of inspection. The canned meat products were distributed nationwide. The problem was discovered during an investigation into illnesses in Indiana and Texas. The investigation led to a recall by FDA of three types of meatless hotdog chili sauce. The FDA’s recall release can be found at www.fda.gov. That recall is also being expanded to include all meatless products produced at the plant that might still be in commerce. There have been no reports of illness from consumption of the products listed in this news release.

In Progress …

Its February 3 … just 5 days before my fourth wedding anniversay. Yes, thanks to GOD we are making it.

On New Year’s Day, I DID NOT MAKE A RESOLUTION. However, I did make a COMMITMENT to being a better person. The best way to do that is to begin work on my primary roles: WOMAN, WIFE, MOTHER. So, I decided to go back to the basics: The Bible, specifically Proverbs 31:10-31.

A dream of mine has always been to start a magazine. The name of it:

31: For Todays Virtuous Woman!
Its strange that I’ve decided to do this now because I turn 31 on May 31. But anyway, as I work on me and prepare to start the e-zine I will conduct an in depth study on Proverbs 31 that will be posted on this blog.

So stay tuned.