2 Things You Can Do To Combat Holiday Loneliness

For many, the holiday season can be a time of turmoil, a constant reminder of the lack of family, friends, and finances. It can also be a time of brokenness as we ponder over failed love and the desire for that perfect mate. Many people feel lonely.


According to Miriam Webster, loneliness is when one is sad from being alone. Sadness is an emotion, a feeling. There are people whose lives are filled with family and close friends yet they still feel lonely around the holidays. These feelings can creep into any persons mind.

This holiday season, I encourage you to embrace your current situation by doing the following:

ONE: Pray
Luke 5:16 says, “But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed.”

If you are in a lonely place, do what Jesus did. Do more than contemplate your past relationships and hurts; take the time to evaluate the impact you had in those relationships. How can you become a better friend, parent or spouse? Do you have goals that you’ve pushed off due to procrastination or fear?

Although Jesus made the choice to seek out a lonely place and you didn’t, take advantage of it.
Get ahead of everyone caught up in the hustle and bustle of the season, start praying for guidance on how you can be your absolute best next year.

TWO: Be a Blessing

The single most important thing you can do for others is to send up fervent prayers of blessings. Refer to task one.

The next thing you can do is to be kind. This year, make it a point not to get lost in your own business. Be aware of what’s going on around you and in your community. When you meet someone on the street, say “hello.” Find the time to help that elderly neighbor take the trash out on one of these cold winter mornings. If you have a few extra bucks, help a less fortunate family celebrate Christmas with toys for their kids and a nice spread for dinner.

Whatever you can do for someone, do it; it may stop the loneliness bug in you and prevent it in others.


MUSE: Are You a VaJayJay Nazi?

Do not deprive each other, except perhaps by mutual consent for a time, to be free for prayer, but then return to one another, so that Satan may not tempt you through your lack of self-control.
I Corinthians 7:5

It’s Friday night.  Amazingly, you’ve had dinner, put away the dishes, gotten the kids to bed, and had the chance to take a long bubble-bath, lotion your entire body and give yourself a pedicure all before 9 o’clock.  What’s even better is that the kids are asleep in their own beds on the opposite side of the house.

Finally, you think as you reach into the back of the closet where you keep your long, satin nightgowns.  You slip the black one on and it glides over your soft, fragrant skin. You stand there for just a moment to enjoy the quietness and the way the satiny fabric feels against your freshly shaven legs. You walk into your master bedroom room with the intention of starting Joel Osteen’s “Become A Better You” but your husband has another idea. 

He is sprawled across the bed, butt-booty naked ready for some action.  He didn’t even take the time to dry off, so those clean, five-hundred-count, Egyptian-cotton sheets you couldn’t wait to snuggle into are wet.  Your mood is broken. 

You are pissed; about the sheets, because he did not help with dinner or the boys.  Well, he helped with the boys but not the way you wanted him to.  You are kind of horny and you love making love to him but he has to be punished.  Suddenly, you come down with a headache, curl into the fetal position, and fall fast asleep thinking:

 “No VaJayJay for you! Come back in 1 week and maybe, just maybe I’ll be horny enough to give you some.”

Ladies, this is wrong.  If you are healthy and married, please give the man some.  There are women waiting to give him some if you slip up.  I know that he is married but you are too.  Part of marriage is sex.  If you didn’t want to have sex then you probably shouldn’t have gotten married. Communicate and deal with your issues.  Sometimes the act of sex can open up both parties and make it easier for other needs, wants, and desires to be fulfilled. 

Before Michael Richards (Kramer) made the grave mistake of using the “N” word on stage at a famous, L.A. comedy club in November of 2006 I was a huge Seinfeld fan.  Since the incident, I have not watched one episode.  But, the way we withhold sex from our husbands make me think of the Soup Nazi. 

So, the next time you think about withholding sex from your husband.  Please imagine yourself standing on your side of the bed all dolled up, smelling and looking like you just stepped out of Victoria’s Secret with your husband standing before you, hungry, waiting to be served or to serve you. 

What will you do when he goes around town looking, begging for soup like Elaine did in that infamous episode?